By Chanel Watson
Any conversation about sex and relationships on campus would certainly be provocative.
But one student’s comment at the recent GQ Boys Vs. Girls Forum really struck a nerve with the audience.
“I can tell a woman’s body count by the way she walks,” the student said, using the slang term for the number of people a person has had sex with.
The comment—and the discussion in the forum and on campus since then—went to the heart of what college students talk about when they talk about sex and relationships.
For some, it’s all about numbers and conquests. For others, it’s about finding love and companionship. And for many, it’s about having fun.
“I don’t think you should judge somebody based on how many people they’ve been with,” says freshman Makeda White.
Many people feel uncomfortable telling their new partner about their past sex partners. A number that’s too high or too low can cause hurt feelings.
A high number of sex partners can get you labeled as a “player” or a “hoe,” students say. But a low number can make you seem inexperienced.
So what is a good number?
“I think anywhere between three and five is a safe number,” says junior Carl Richardson.Lincoln University’s Health Services
Some believe that it is personal information that shouldn’t be disclosed, even if asked.
“The past is the past,” says sophomore Isaiah White.
“Plus, knowing the number may hurt my feelings, so I wouldn’t want to set myself up for that,” White said. “This is our relationship, not theirs.”
It’s just as difficult to figure out real relationships, students say.
“College is the time for you to have fun with people, not really to be tied down from the beginning,” says freshman Alea Binder.
In the movies, college is where you are supposed to find your soul mate. But in reality, most students at Lincoln are just looking for a good time.
“It’s cuffing season, so all people are looking for is someone to warm up with,” says freshman Jamel Dorsett.
“Cuffing season” is when people begin to look for someone, or “cuff” someone, for the cold part of the semester. Some may fall for the fun, while others fall in love.
It’s the beginning of the school year, so most students don’t want to be tied to a serious relationship. Others come with the expectation to sleep with as many people as possible.
So is it possible to find someone who is serious about a relationship on campus?
“Yeah, you can have a relationship,” White says, “but you just have to learn to block the temptation on campus.”